


Community Service

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Quite Gen, References to Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2012-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 13:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mental Hospital! No powers! Teenage!AU.<br/>In his last year at high school, Steve is required some volunteer work and he chooses the local mental facility, where he meets a group of troubled youths with whom he will form an unlikely friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mental Hospital! No powers! Teenage!AU.  
> My knowledge of mental illness and life in a mental institution is mostly theoretical and I mean absolutely no disrespect in my representation of it. This story deals with chronic mental illness and contains some violence and an explicit suicide attempt, as well as references to previous suicide attempts.  
> Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy.

 

* * *

 

“You should come with me to the animal shelter, Steve.” Bucky repeated. Steve shook his head; his eyes were fixed on the sprawling off-white building at the end of the street. It was a one-way street and it was deserted, and quiet. 

“You don’t have to do this.” Bucky said quietly, putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

“Yes I do.” Steve replied simply.

“Steve-” Bucky began, but Steve cut him off. “Don’t apologize. I know. I’ll be fine.”  
“Right. Well, if you change your mind...”

“Yeah.” Steve said vaguely. “I just- All our lives we’ve lived a few blocks from here and, you know, they’re just... kids, like us.”

Bucky stared at Steve in brooding silence. “Not quite like us.”

“I’ve already spoken to Dr. Coulson and he said I’d be welcome. They can always use some company, if _you_ change your mind.” Steve said, his lips curling into a small grin.

“I don’t think so, buddy.” Bucky clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder. He stood at the street corner until Steve reached the facility’s gates and then walked away. When he cast a last quick look behind his shoulder, Steve had already disappeared into S.H.I.E.L.D’s Psychiatric Center for Youths.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The gates creaked loudly when Steve pulled them open, as if they were used rarely. He walked up the gravel pathway, his footsteps loud on the dry, crackling leaves. Though the center had expansive grounds they seemed to have fallen into disuse and were overgrown with weeds and crumbling asphalt. 

It was widespread knowledge that the building that now served as a mental hospital had originally been designed as a boarding school which had come to nothing due to lack of funding and students. It had been abandoned for years until Mr. Fury had swept into town and had it reformed. There had been new construction since then but the initial structure of the edifice had been conserved, so that Steve found himself looking at a common wooden door and an old fashioned doorbell that emitted an ominous buzz and yet didn’t seem to ring.

He pressed the doorbell twice and had his hand poised to knock when the door opened. A very pretty young woman, perhaps a few years older than him, stood before him. Her sharp eyes looked him up and down with thinly veiled suspicion.

“Good afternoon. How may I help you?” she asked curtly. She spoke with distinct british accent, politely, though the hand she left on the door handle belied her impatience. She had a little tag on her breast that read _Nurse Peggy Carter._

“Afternoon m’am. I’m Steve Rogers, from the B___ Public High School. We’ve been assigned volunteer work this semester-”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Rogers,” Peggy interrupted him brusquely. “I’m sure you mean well, but this is a hospital, a place of rest and healing, not the go-to for high school extra credit.”

“Ma’am.” Steve said quietly. “I’m not here to cause trouble. I just want to help.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’m sure you are. Unfortunately-”

“I spoke to Dr. Coulson, ma’am, he gave me permission.” Steve put in quickly.

The nurse frowned dubiously. “Wait here, please.”

Steve craned his neck to peer down the hallway after her, straining his ears with shameful curiosity. However, he heard nothing but the clip of nurse Peggy’s shoes on the wood panelling as she hurried out of sight. He turned away only when the door she’d gone through had swung to a definite shut. 

His lips clumsily formed an expletive that ended up as an inarticulate cry when he turned back to find that he wasn’t alone: a young girl with red hair and an unreadable expression watched him from three feet away. Steve could have sworn she hadn’t made a sound approaching.

“Hello.” she said with a smile. She had a gorgeous face and Steve smiled back automatically.

“Hi. I’m Steve, Steve Rogers.” he said after a moment. The girl, who seemed to be about his age, stood with her hands behind her back, dressed in a simple white outfit.

“I’m Natalie.” she replied easily. “Who’re you here to see? I’m visiting my cousin.”

“Oh.” Steve said, tension in his shoulders he hadn’t noticed until then easing. “I’m here as a volunteer. I hope to come around fairly often, so maybe you could introduce us?”

Natalie smiled. “Of course. It will have to be at some other time, though, I was just leaving.”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you around, Natalie.” Steve held out his hand. She jerked back, the smile slipping off her face. 

Steve held his hands palm out and took a step back. “I’m- I’m sorry.” he stuttered, bewildered.

Natalie shrugged. “My cousin can get a bit violent, it’s a gut reaction.” 

“I’m very sorry to hear that.” Steve said falteringly. 

The girl only nodded. “You have to take off your shoes to come inside, you know.” she said, nodding at his feet. Steve slowly bent down to untie his shoelaces, then straightened up when he heard approaching steps. He realized then that nurse Peggy had most definitely been wearing shoes.

“Natasha! What are you doing here, dear?” Peggy called out and Natalie- Natasha- glared at both of them before running off up the stairs so quickly she was out of sight by the time Peggy had reached the door.

She glanced down at Steve’s untied shoes. “She wanted to take your shoes. We only found her the last time she escaped because she attracted attention walking around in slippers.” 

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” Steve replied honestly and still a little dazed.

Peggy gave him a small smile. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, not unkindly. 

Steve nodded. “I reckon, well, it’s the right thing to do. I know- I know what it’s like to be set aside, and if I can do anything to help anyone here, well, I’ll count myself lucky, ma’am.” 

Their eyes met for a long moment in silence, then she looked down to the clipboard she’d brought with her and abruptly turned on her heel and started down the hall, signaling for him to follow. “It’s a difficult day today, Mr. Rogers, I won’t lie to you. Bruce had one of his episodes during breakfast and Tony’s just impossible.”

“One of his... episodes?” Steve asked dubiously.

“He has some problems controlling his anger. It’s difficult to determine what sets him off, so you want to tread carefully around him.” she replied tersely.

“Right.” Steve’s heart was racing. He wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers. “And Tony?”

Peggy’s steps slowed momentarily. “Tony’s a little... overexcited. He can be somewhat rude but you seem levelheaded enough to brush off his comments.”

Steve couldn’t help grinning in response and thought he caught an answering curve of her lips. “What about Natalie, I mean, Natasha?”

Peggy didn’t answer until they stopped before a door. “She’s having trouble adjusting after a traumatic ordeal.” she sighed, then cast a pointed look at his shoes, one of which was still trailing an untied lace. “I’d appreciate if you were on your guard with her, she’s already escaped twice.”

“Of course.” Steve nodded.

Peggy gave him another appraising look. “It’s ‘creative expression’ time right now. Until five thirty. I think an hour is more than enough time for your first day.”

Steve stopped as she pushed the door open with her hip. “What should I do?”

Peggy raised her eyebrows at him. “Socialize.” 

“He needs to get checked out first, Peggy.” Another nurse called out, walking out from behind a counter shielded by reinforced glass. Though she had a lovely face, it was set in a solemn, efficient expression that made her seem older than she was. The tag on her uniform read Nurse Maria Hill. 

Steve stepped forward, arms outstretched. The nurse shook her head and shared a mildly amused glance with Peggy. “Empty your pockets, and you’ll have to leave your bag here at the station.”

They put their heads together and talked in quiet murmurs as Steve emptied out his pockets of a few coins, two sticks of gum and the stump of a pencil. “There’s a few rules you need to know before you can start... socializing, Mr. Rogers.” Maria told him with a slight twist of her lips that might have been a smile as she scooped up his belongings in a tray and set them next to his backpack. She leaned against the desk and stared at him, unsmiling again. “Don’t give anything to anyone unless you have the permission of one of the staff.” Maria waited for him to nod before continuing. “Don’t take anything from anyone unless you have permission from one of the staff. And if you don’t know how to handle a situation, you simply call for one of the staff.”

“I understand.” Steve stated earnestly.

“You can pick up your things when you leave.” Maria told him and dismissed him with a final nod. Peggy gave her colleague a small wave and motioned for Steve to follow her. They went down another short hall, with bare walls and just two doors that turned out to be staff restrooms. At the end there were two large grey doors with small slots of plexiglass at the top. 

“You might want to stick with me today, Mr. Rogers, and I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Peggy said, tapping the pen on her clipboard idly. 

“Thank you, ma’am.” Steve responded with a smile. He could hear voices behind the doors now. Nothing strange. In fact it sounded just like the sound of a classroom at school during free-time, perhaps a little quieter as there didn’t seem to be as many people.

“Ready?” Peggy asked, hand on the door.

“Yes.” Steve said simply.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

“After you, ma’am.” Steve said. Peggy gave him a curious glance as he held the door open for her, yet made no comment but a murmured thank you. 

Steve followed her through into a communal room, similar to his school’s cafeteria in its dimensions and dull colored furnishings; an assortment of identical picnic-like tables occupied most of the space, although there was also a set of worn couches around a coffee table strewn with books and magazines and another set for the television. 

“And here comes Tony.” Steve heard Peggy mutter as they were approached by a young man with sparkling dark eyes and a maniacal grin.

“Peggy! Who’s this?” he said, eyeing Steve up and down. “Handsome fellow, but why didn’t anyone tell me it was bring your boyfriend to work day?”

“I’m not-” Steve stammered, flushing. 

“Tony Stark.” he interrupted, taking Steve’s inert hand in his and shaking it enthusiastically before dragging him across the room. “Come, there’s watered down hot chocolate and stale biscuits. And you have to tell me how you managed to get Peggy to go out with you.”

When Steve looked to Peggy for help, she shrugged, her lips a red smear as she struggled to contain a grin. Tony tugged at his arm and Steve gave him a weak smile as he turned back to him, catching Peggy moving to take a seat in a corner of the room with the other nurse on duty, a dour looking middle-aged man.

Tony lead him to a table with what it took Steve a moment to realize were pieces of wiring, scraps of metal and a full set of tools. The boy seated at the table looked up, his face grim. “Hello.”

“This is Bruce Banner. He’s rather more fun to be with when he’s not in the dumps, but-” Steve tuned out Tony as he held out his hand to Bruce, who, after a long moment, put down the wires he’d been fiddling with to shake Steve’s hand. Though Bruce offered him a small smile, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“What’re you working on here?” Steve asked, taking a seat at the bench. 

“Fixing the toaster. No, really,” Tony insisted when Steve chuckled. “I myself am partial to cereal- with frosted sugar, not those awful high-fiber ones- but my buddy here prefers toast, and he gets really cranky if they mess up his breakfast.”

“ _Tony_.” Bruce admonished quietly. 

“Aw, c’mmon, Bruce. We’re between friends. It’s-” he stopped, frowning. “Actually, you never told us your name, stranger. Wait, let me guess-”

“I’m Steve Rogers.” Steve said quickly. 

“I was going to say Bobbie.” Tony laughed. “The thing is, Fury has a heck load of money at his disposal, but we have to fix our toaster because it all goes into genetic mutation research. Fury works for the Ministry of Defense and they’re obsessed with creating a breed of super soldiers, you know.”

“Don’t listen to anything he says.” Steve whipped around to find Natasha standing behind him. She stared at him serenely, a slight smile on her lips. 

“Listen to everything I say.” Tony countered.

“Just don’t believe most of it.” Bruce deadpanned. 

“Bruce, _buddy._ ” Tony whined, leading a hand to his chest in mock pain. Bruce sighed and handed Tony the pieces of wire he’d been toying with, twisted into something that Steve didn’t understand but which made Tony smile brilliantly. 

“You definitely shouldn’t believe _anything_ Natasha tells you, though. She promised me a nighttime visit to her room and I’m still waiting. That was months ago.” Stark muttered. 

“I let you in.” Natasha retorted. “ _You_ let Pepper kick you out.”

Tony made a disgruntled noise. “Why don’t you go bother Loki? The little bastard threw a week’s worth of bread crumbs on my bed last night.” he scratched his elbow distractedly. “I’d just moisturized and I looked like a piece of fried chicken.”

Bruce chuckled quietly and Natasha’s lips curled. “Come.” she told Steve, “Don’t ever miss an opportunity to escape from Tony.”

“People have payed to be in my company, I’ll have you know!” Tony called after them. “It’s a privilege, boy-wonder, remember that. Right, Bruce?”

Natasha led Steve towards a couch by the window and it was only when they went around it that Steve became aware that there was someone there. He was curled up with his back to them.

“I think he might be sleeping.” Steve whispered to Natasha. She stared at the boy intently and shook her head. “No, he’s awake.”

She rapped firmly on the table with her knuckles. “Loki. Fresh blood.” 

Steve looked at her askance but she didn’t react. “Loki.” she repeated, her eyes fixed on the unmoving figure on the couch. Long seconds ticked by before the boy rolled to face them. He was very pale and his eyes were red-rimmed, glistening wetly in the afternoon light. 

“Hi.” Steve said gently. He extended his hand reflexively, but quickly let it fall.

“ _Why are you here?_ ” Loki screamed, jumping to his feet so suddenly that Steve took a couple of steps back, his arm flung instinctively to the side to protect Natasha. Instead of drawing back, she grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, too quickly for him to react. “Don’t you _touch_ me.” she hissed in his ear. 

Loki was hysterical; Steve could hardly make out what he was screaming about. Natasha released him with a shove, which made Loki climb back up onto the couch. Steve saw Tony and Bruce watching from the other side of the room; Tony’s mouth was moving non-stop while Bruce shook his head slowly in response.

“Loki.” Peggy said soothingly. She stood next to Steve, a hand on his arm and the other outstretched towards Loki. Natasha had vanished. “Just take a deep breath, _slowly._ Try again, you’re doing fine.”

Steve watched, his own heart hammering in his chest, as Loki struggled to control his breathing, which kept breaking into sobs. 

“Steve’s a friend of mine. And we’re friends, you and I, aren’t we?” Peggy continued calmly.

Loki’s eyes darted from Peggy to Steve suspiciously. His breath hitched. “Stop _lying_ to me!” he screeched.

Peggy waved the other nurse over. “Erik, will you walk Steve to the door, please? Steve’s leaving now, Loki. Why don’t you sit down, hm?”

She nudged Steve pointedly and he took a few steps towards the door. 

 _“_ They must have sent him. He’s after the _Tesseract_.” Loki sniffled. He sat down abruptly, drawing his knees to his chest, whimpering. “I don’t have it. They took it away from me. _Stop it_. _Stop._ ” 

Steve felt a pull on his arm and turned away from Loki who was clutching his hair.

“C’mmon.” the nurse muttered, a firm hand on his forearm. “You can’t do anythin’ to help him. He’ll calm down in a while.”

Out the corner of his eye, Steve caught Tony waving at him blithely. He raised a hand in goodbye in a jerky movement, dazed. 

“Breathe.” Erik told him sharply when the doors swung shut behind them and the sound of Loki’s weeping was muted.

“I’m sorry, sir.” Steve said after a few deep breaths, smoothing his hair back in a nervous gesture.

The man looked at him with mild pity. “Go home, son.”

Steve nodded, still feeling a little nauseous. “I’ll be back on Thursday, sir.”

Erik raised his eyebrows, obviously skeptical. “Ye sure about that?”

“Yes, sir.” Steve responded firmly.

The man shrugged. “Well, see you then.” He left Steve at the door to the nurse’s station and turned back without another word.

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

“I’ll be right back.” Steve said, setting his cards on the table and getting to his feet with a groan. 

“You might want to take your cards with you.” Bruce told him with a half smile. 

Steve glanced at Tony who raised his eyebrows. “Cheating is an integral part of any card game. It adds an interesting variable of unpredictability to factor in amongst the chance and the strategy, isn’t that right, Bruce?”

“That’s one way to put it.” Bruce said drily. 

“I’m sure Natasha will agree with me. She cheats all the time. We hold cheating competitions and cheat at cheating... She has a temper though, that harpy, nearly did a Loki on me one time, remember, Bruce?” Tony rambled, painstakingly lining up his cards before him.

“What?” Steve asked in spite of himself. 

Tony contemplated the positioning of his cards intently for a moment, drumming his fingers distractedly on the table. He seemed on the verge of starting over when Bruce put a screwdriver in his hand and tilted his head towards the contraption Tony had been working on while they played. “I’m pretty sure I’m the only one here who hasn’t tried to kill someone and yet everybody holds homicidal intentions towards me. Does that seem fair to you? It really isn’t.” Tony mumbled crossly.

Bruce scrubbed the heel of his palms over his eyes wearily. “Loki nearly stabbed an orderly in the eye with a screwdriver one time.” he explained. A shadow of a smile crossed his face. “I’d say Tony learnt his lesson about leaving his tools lying around then, but he really didn’t.” 

Steve made an inarticulate sound in response, turning instinctively to look around for Loki. Other than them the room was empty, though. He frowned in confusion; he could have sworn Natasha had been sitting on the couch with a magazine only a few minutes back, but she was no longer in sight. 

“Weren’t you going to the bathroom, Steve?” Bruce asked, bringing him out of his reverie. “It’s just upstairs, do you think you can find it?

“Or do you need an escort?” Tony said irritably.

“I think I’ll manage, thanks.” Steve replied easily. He shoved his cards into one of his pockets and hesitantly left the room. As he passed by the nurse’s station, he asked the nurse on duty about leaving Tony and Bruce without supervision, but the man seemed unconcerned. 

When Steve reached the top of the stairs he was surprised to see a girl sitting alone on the window sill, cross-legged with a book on her lap. She turned at the sound of his footsteps and gave him a sunny smile. “Hello. You must be Steve. Tony’s been talking about you.” 

“He talks about a lot of things.” Steve blurted. 

The girl laughed softly. “Yes, he does.” she agreed, biting her lip. “Don’t think too badly of him, though. Tony is... well, he’s something else.”

“Agreed.” Steve chuckled. The girl laughed with him. 

“I’m Pepper, by the way.” she said. Steve shook hands with her. “Nice to meet you.”

Pepper brushed her hair behind her ear and looked at him with a placid smile. Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “Right.” he said finally. “I’ll just...”

“I’m sure we’ll see each other some other time.” Pepper agreed pleasantly.

Steve nodded and as he turned to leave reflexively looked out the window; Natasha was standing by the fence in the backyard, her back to the building. Pepper got to her feet, blocking his view. “I’ll walk you to the... bathroom? It’s just down the hall.”

“What is she doing out there?” Steve asked, side-stepping her to peer out the window. 

Pepper sighed. “She’s not trying to escape.”

Steve’s brow furrowed slightly. “You’d say that even if she was.” he said dubiously.

“Yes, I would.” Pepper admitted. “It’s true, though. Look.” 

He slowly became aware that Natasha was holding a conversation with someone who was camouflaged amongst the foliage of a holm oak that grew at the edge of the hospital’s grounds. 

“That’s Clint.” Pepper continued. “I don’t know how they know each other, but she trusts him more than _anybody._ ”

“But why the secrecy?” Steve asked, confused. “They admit visitors here.”

“She’s entitled to her privacy, and if she doesn’t want them to know then I’mnot going to tell them.” she replied firmly.

Steve turned away from the window, frowning. “I don’t know if... I should...” he mumbled.

“No.” Pepper cut in. “I really don’t think you should, Steve.”

That surprised a chuckle out of him. “I should probably get back to Tony and Bruce.” he sighed. There was a beat of silence. “Are you sure she’s alright?”

“No.” Pepper replied simply. “None of us are or we wouldn’t be here, would we? But Clint’s not...” She shook her head. “He’s good for her.”

They both turned at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. It was Tony. “We’re all good for each other. In wide open spaces.” he said, gesturing expansively. “Except maybe Loki.” His face scrunched up and he made a pained sound. “Nah, even Loki. He kind of grows on you. A little bit. Maybe.”

“Be nice.” Pepper told him, her lips quirking.

“As it is, I thought you’d been ambushed by Loki so he could sacrifice you to- what is it he calls them? The Chihuahuas?” Tony went on, looping an arm around Steve’s neck and ignoring Pepper’s exasperated _Tony!_.

“No, just talking to Pepper.” Steve answered, shrugging.

“I like talking to Pepper too. She’s the only one who listens to me.” Tony said casually.

Pepper cast him a fond look. “You can’t expect everyone to keep up with all your prattle.”

“You’d expect my doctor to,” Tony retorted. “but he just keeps going on and on about-” 

“It’s important for you to take your medication, Tony.” Pepper interrupted him, her voice shrill. “It’s not going to go away on its own. Ask Steve if you insist on not believing anyone here, though we’ve all told you-”

“I’m not asking Steve anything, he was one step from the nuthouse himself from what I gathered.” Tony grumbled.

Steve stared at him in bewilderment. “ _What_ did you say?”

“Oh.” Tony said insouciantly. “I looked you up. Read your file. The public school security isn’t very good, you know.”

“You read my file?” Steve repeated incredulously. “You mean you hacked into the school system?”

Tony chuckled. “There’s no call to be impressed. Seriously, I don’t downplay my achievements, it’s just getting access to your school record was really, _really_ easy. Now the CIA, that was a bit more exciting, still disappointing, you’d imagine something-”

“But... why?” Steve faltered.

Tony looked at him uncomprehending. “It’s there. I’m curious and, in case you hadn’t noticed, kind of brilliant.” he answered with a grin and a shrug.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should! It doesn’t mean it’s _right_!” Steve replied, his voice shaking.

“Why does it bother you so much?” Tony asked. “There’s no shame in your past as a midget.” 

“That’s not-” Steve mumbled.

Tony’s eyes widened. “Is it about that Dr. Erskine, your counselor? You couldn’t have done anything to save him, man, you were just a kid, and a tiny one at that.”

“That’s... none of your business. You just can’t pry into people’s lives like that.” Steve argued.

“I don’t let anybody tell me what I can or can’t do, I prefer to decide that for myself.” Tony countered, unsmiling.

“Maybe you could try listening instead.” Steve snapped.

“I’m a surprisingly good listener. Right, Pepper?” Tony turned towards Pepper beseechingly.

Pepper made a noncommittal sound and wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Fine.” Tony growled, “Side with Mr. Wonder-boy here who thinks he’s better than us.” 

“I don’t think that.” Steve asserted.

“Everyone’s fucked up, Stevie-wonder.” Tony continued, aggressively, his fists clenched at his sides. Steve took a deep breath and stepped back from him. “I’m not going to fight you, Tony.” he said slowly, “And I’m leaving.”

Steve gave Pepper a quick nod and hurried down the stairs before the situation got further out of hand. Tony called after him tauntingly but Steve didn’t turn back. He was flushed with anger and mortification as he left the hospital and it wasn’t until much later that he remembered about Clint and Natasha. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Peggy’s voice barely cut through the noise of the heavy rain clattering on the gravel and her words were lost to the howling wind. Steve turned at her call and hurried towards her, battling with his umbrella. Peggy offered him a reluctant smile when he reached her and sheltered her quickly with his umbrella. She was already soaked, however, her hair curling wetly around her face. “You’re here early, Steve.” she repeated. 

“To be honest,” Steve said, gulping audibly. “I’m rather glad I am.” 

Their eyes met for a long moment, then Steve’s gaze fell to Peggy’s mouth as her lower lip, stark red and glistening, caught briefly on her teeth. Steve exhaled noisily and Peggy, her arm linked in his, pulled him forwards.Their footsteps were loud in the wet gravel as they went up to the house.

“Bruce told me they serve breakfast at nine.” Steve said finally. After a short struggle to close his umbrella, he followed Peggy inside where she met his expectant glance as she stepped out of her raincoat, her eyes slightly apologetic. “Did Tony talk you into it?” she asked him suddenly.

“Um, no.” Steve replied, disconcerted. “He’s not really talking to me at all. We had a bit of an argument.” he confessed.

Peggy shrugged. “It was only a matter of time. Don’t take it personally, Tony doesn’t play well with others.”

“I just thought it’d be nice to join them for breakfast.” Steve admitted ingenuously. 

Peggy’s lips twisted with wry humor. “It will certainly be _interesting_.”

“I’ll leave if I’m going to be in the way.” Steve assured her, but she cut him off. “Do you know where the cafeteria is?” 

Steve nodded, his brow furrowed. “Yes, but aren’t you...?” Peggy raised her eyebrows. “...coming with me?” 

She shook her head. “I can’t. Loki’s parents will be here shortly and I have to help Dr. Fury prepare for their visit.”

“Oh.” Steve responded dumbly.

“I might see you later.” Peggy took her leave with a slight smile. 

Steve met Nurse Hill halfway to the cafeteria. “What are you doing here?” she asked, scowling at him suspiciously.

“I... wanted to... join the group for breakfast.” Steve stammered.

Maria cast him an odd look. “Who talked you into that?”

He gave her a sheepish half smile. “I did. And I’m starting to think it wasn’t such a good idea.”

“I can tell you already it wasn’t.” Maria informed him, her lips twitching.

“I take it they’re not morning people.” Steve said jokingly. 

“Not really. And neither are we, to be honest.” she sighed when they reached the cafeteria doors. 

The cafeteria was rather small, two long tables a few feet apart and a buffet bar on one side. Bruce and Natasha, who were already seated at a table, waved at him, while Loki and Tony stood by the window, engrossed in a whispered discussion.

Pepper seemed to materialize in front of them. “Hi, Steve.” she greeted him cursorily before turning to Maria. “Couldn’t I sit with Tony and the others today, Nurse?” 

“You ask me everyday, Pepper.” Maria replied tiredly. “You know the answer.”

Pepper’s lips pursed. “I’m being released soon! Is this really necessary?” she argued. “And I don’t want to sit with Loki. He’s always trying to put things in my cereal.”

Maria addressed Steve. “It’s self-service, here. Just help yourself to whatever you like and pick a seat.” Then she went after Pepper who was still muttering sullenly as she stalked off.

Steve looking around, a bit at a loss, was startled to find Loki staring at him, his eyes crystal clear in the morning light. Steve waved awkwardly. To his surprise, Loki responded by approaching him. He stood before Steve and looked him up and down in uncomfortable silence for a very long moment. 

“Come. I’ll show you.” he said, his voice soft and polite, so very different from the first time they’d met. 

“Um, thank you.” Steve replied and followed Loki to the bar. 

Steve put some eggs and toast on his tray while Loki watched him with eerie intensity.

“Aren’t you going to have anything?” Steve commented. Loki looked down at his tray as though he’d only just remembered it was there and quickly selected a couple of pieces of fruit. “What about some omelette?” Steve suggested after taking in Loki’s slight frame. 

“It’s poisoned.” Loki told him in an undertone. 

Steve gaped at him. “Maybe... something else, then?” he proposed. 

Loki leaned in close. “That was a jest.” he whispered in Steve’s ear.

Steve chuckled weakly when Loki smirked at him. “You got me.” 

Loki’s answering grin was dazzling. Steve smiled back hesitantly. “So the food is good to eat here?”

“Certainly.” Loki replied. “You would have no doubts after seeing Thor... although, truly, he always eats like a barbarian.” 

Steve laughed. “Who’s Thor?” he asked curiously.

Loki’s expression became shuttered. “No one.” he answered brusquely, dropping the cutlery on Steve’s tray with a loud clatter. 

“I’m sorry.” Steve said quickly, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Loki’s eyes met his briefly, his expression unreadable, then he picked up his tray and left to sit at the table with Pepper and Nurse Hill. Steve stared after him for a moment before going to sit with the others. 

“Was Loki giving you a hard time?” Bruce asked him when he sat down.

Steve shook his head. “No, he was... _nice,_ actually.”

Natasha exchanged a mildly amused look with Tony and Bruce. “He can be quite charming.” she said generously.

Steve sighed. “Then I asked about Thor and he bolted.”

“Ah.” Bruce put in. “That explains it. Family’s kind of a sensitive subject for him.”

“Thor is his brother.” Natasha clarified when Steve still looked confused. 

“Oh.” Steve said, then frowned when he remembered what Peggy had told him earlier. “His parents are visiting today.” 

Natasha swore under her breath and Bruce sighed. “And it looked to be one of his good days, too.”

“It sucks that it’s not Blondie who’s coming.” Tony commented, his voice unusually subdued. “The last time he was here Loki was completely off his rocker.”

“Yeah,” Bruce agreed, taking off his glasses and wiping them slowly on the hem of his shirt.

“He was completely cuckoo. Bonkers. Nutty. _Loco_. Mad as-” Tony continued.

“Shut up.” Natasha snapped. 

Steve cast Loki a thoughtful, surreptitious glance and looked back to find Tony staring at him expectantly, his eyes narrowed. “Aren’t you going to pry?” he asked eagerly.

“It’s rude.” Steve said shortly.

Tony huffed in disgust. “Oh, _come on_! Aren’t you the least bit curious?”

“Well, yes, but-” he began.

“Then ask.” Tony interrupted him, “You know what’s rude: not giving people the chance to tell you all they’ve heard and guess and think about what is absolutely none of their business.” 

Bruce laughed at his comment and Natasha lips quirked. “Well,” Steve said with a trace of irritation when nobody spoke. “Are you going to tell me or not?”

“That would be incredibly disrespectful, Steve.” Tony responded spitefully. 

Steve resisted rolling his eyes with difficulty and held back an angry retort by taking a large bite out of his toast. Natasha clapped her hand over Tony’s mouth before he could say anything else, pinching his nose irritably when he tried to lick her palm. 

“I don’t want to see _him._ ” Loki snarled, his voice breaking all of a sudden through the momentary silence.

“You can discuss this with Dr. Fury later. Right now you need to eat your breakfast.” Nurse Hill said calmly. 

Loki looked up to see them staring at him when Tony knocked over the pitcher of milk with his elbow while trying to pull away from Natasha. “What are you looking at?” he hissed, standing up and wrenching away from Pepper’s placating hand on his arm. 

“Nothing, man.” Tony replied, “Believe me, I know all about the daddy issues.”

“He’s _not_ my father.” Loki said through gritted teeth. 

Tony raised his hands soothingly and shrugged. “Got it. Not your father.”

Pepper quickly pulled Loki down beside her again and breakfast resumed, though everyone but Tony seemed tense and Steve caught Loki shooting them baleful looks out of the corner of his eye more than once. The conversation at their table was strained and Steve was jittery, sipping his juice for something to do with his hands while he waited for the others to finish. Bruce was hesitantly proposing they play a board-game when an apple core hit the side of his head.

There was an inarticulate protest, but Nurse Hill wasn’t quick enough to stop Loki from flinging a peach pip at Bruce.

“That’s enough, Loki.” she said firmly, sliding his tray away from him. 

“Watch out!” Pepper screamed suddenly and Steve reacted without thinking, grabbing his tray and putting it up like a shield so that the knife Loki had hurled at Bruce hit plastic instead of flesh. Bruce stood up, breathing hard and fist clenched at his sides. 

“Bruce, buddy, deep breaths, deep breaths.” Tony said anxiously while Natasha watched him with wide, frightened eyes.

Nurse Hill hurried to the door to call for assistance and Steve lowered the tray slowly as he realized the change of threat. “Bruce, look at me.” Steve said quietly. Bruce’s eyes flitted to his; his entire body shaking, muscles tense and straining. 

Since Steve didn’t expect Loki to have another knife secreted away he was too slow to react, so that the knife hit Bruce on the neck. Though the knives weren’t sharp, they were made of metal and it left an angry red mark on Bruce’s skin before bouncing to the floor. 

Bruce _roared._ He flung the trays on their table to the floor with a wordless bellow and lunged towards Loki. Natasha screamed and rolled out of the way. Steve watched her run to the far wall while Loki, laughing, climbed onto the table. 

Tony made a grab for Bruce but he twisted himself out of his grip. Loki’s tray cracked when it hit Bruce’s head, however, Bruce simply pulled Loki’s legs from under him and flung him to the floor. Steve tripped Bruce and tried to drag him away from Loki, who was still laughing even as he cradled his arm to his side.

“Bruce!” Steve shouted. Only to double over when Bruce punched him in the gut and easily tossed Tony five feet away. Steve straightened up, but a man grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back. “Move!” he shouted. It took five orderlies to subdue Bruce, who slumped to the floor with a growl when they managed to inject him with a sedative. 

“Fuck.” Tony said, dabbing at his bleeding lip with the hem of his shirt. Natasha had fled and taken Pepper with her. 

“Yeah.” Steve murmured helplessly. 

Nurse Hill knelt next to Bruce and checked him over before nodding to the orderlies to take him away. Steve could have sworn he heard Bruce slur an apology as he passed by him. 

“He’s a monster.” Loki said nastily as Nurse Hill helped him up. 

“We have to get you checked up.” she replied shortly and cast Tony a dangerous look when he made a move towards Loki. “Go to your room, Tony... please.” she added.

Tony glared at Loki and brushed past Steve roughly on his way out. After a moment, Nurse Hill and an orderly escorted Loki out. Steve stood in the trashed cafeteria, breathing shakily. After a few minutes, he started to clean up. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Steve drummed his fingers on the back of a chair with undisguised nervousness. He’d been assured that Dr. Coulson would be with him shortly but he’d been waiting for almost ten minutes. An unknown nurse had waylaid Steve on his way to the common room and ushered him into Coulson’s office without explanation. 

His eyes kept straying to the folders stacked on the desk. He could read the words _Bruce Banner_ printed on the cover of the top folder.He heard Coulson’s footsteps in the hall and a moment later the doctor walked in. 

“Hello, Steve. How’re you doing?” Dr. Coulson greeted him warmly, shaking Steve’s hand in both of his. He signaled for Steve to take a seat and offered him his pick of a box of chocolates with a wink. Once behind his desk, Coulson crossed his hands on the table and smiled at Steve blandly. “I heard there was a bit of trouble on Tuesday.” Coulson said after a moment. 

Steve nodded, crushing the wrapping paper between his fingers. “A bit, sir.” 

Steve didn’t know what to make of the long, searching look Coulson gave him. “I’m not sure I handled myself very well.” he admitted finally.

“It was a difficult situation, Steve.” Coulson told him kindly. “And you did well.”

A reluctant half-smile crossed Steve’s face for an instant. He took another chocolate. “How’s Bruce?” he asked.

“He’s fine. Somewhat upset at the thought that he might have scared you off.” Coulson replied. “I’m glad to see it’s not the case.”

“Of course not.” Steve assured him. “As a matter of fact, I was thinking…”

Coulson nodded encouragingly.

“I was thinking maybe I could take Bruce out for a run, and do a bit of boxing sometime.” he continued. “It might help to relieve some of that… pent up energy.”

“That might not be a bad idea.” Coulson answered thoughtfully. “I’ll think about it and we can make arrangements, alright?”

“Thank you, Dr. Couslon.” Steve took his leave of the doctor with permission to visit Bruce in his room, as it was unlikely he was to be found in the common room after one of his outbursts. Loki’s room was locked; Tony’s door was open and the room deserted, with papers strewn across the bed and floor as though he’d left in a hurry. Bruce’s door at the end of the hall was ajar. Steve knocked and slowly pushed it open. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” Bruce echoed, closing the book he’d been reading.

Steve took it as an invitation to come in. He sat down on Bruce’s desk chair and swiveled in place idly for a long moment.

“What are you doing here?” Bruce asked him.

“Same as I’ve been these other days.” Steve replied. “What, you thought I wouldn’t come back?”

Bruce wouldn’t quite meet his eyes. “Well, yes.” he said quietly. “After what happened the other day. I hurt you, didn’t I?”

“You weren’t... yourself.” Steve said easily. 

Bruce shook his head. “I was. This is... who I am.” he whispered, “A monster.”

“No.” Steve shot back fiercely. “No, Bruce. You’re not.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done. I’m... a danger to... everyone around me.” Bruce took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed tight as though fighting back tears, though his voice was level. “I’ve... hurt people, Steve.”

Steve looked him over thoughtfully. “But you’re here now, aren’t you?” he said earnestly. “Trying to get better? That’s what matters. We all... we’ve all got things we’re not proud of in our past.”

Bruce breathed out slowly and put on his glasses again. “Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future.” he murmured.

“Sorry?” Bruce shook his head dismissively in response. “It just came to mind.”

“I was thinking maybe we could go out for a run or, have you ever boxed? It could help you...um... focus all that...”

“Anger?” Bruce chuckled grimly. “It’s worth a try. I’ve been doing yoga and it’s helping. It’s just Loki can be...”

Steve nodded when Bruce trailed off. “Yeah, I noticed.”

“He’s... sick, though, Loki. Very sick.” Bruce said quietly. “I admit we don’t get along, but I can’t really...”

“Blame him?” Steve filled in. “But you can blame yourself?”

“It’s not the same.” Bruce replied shortly. He cut Steve off before he could answer. “That’s enough, Steve, please.”

Though Steve didn’t apologize, he desisted, and they settled in a comfortable silence while Bruce read and Steve sketched and doodled. Steve lost track of time until he heard the sound of stomping up the stairs and down the hall towards them. They both looked up curiously towards the door which was swung open so forcefully it hit the wall. Tony was unusually serious, his eyes wide. He bypassed Steve and plopped down on the bed next to Bruce, burying his face in his pillow.

“Tony.” Bruce murmured gently, a soothing hand on his back.

“I’m fabulous.” Tony mumbled into the pillow in answer to an unspoken question. “You know how it is. My father’s visits always provide me with warm encouragement and emotional fulfillment.”

“I never knew my father.” Steve said awkwardly.

Tony turned his head to scowl at Steve. “You’re lucky then. I bet you’ve got all manner of made up stories about him. Painted him a hero, have you?” 

Bruce frowned down at Tony and shot Steve an apologetic glance. “Stop it, Tony.”

Tony rolled onto his back so he could look at Bruce and poke him repeatedly. “ _You_ understand. He doesn’t.” he said petulantly. 

“I’ll go.” Steve said, quickly getting to his feet. Tony lobbed an eraser at him half-heartedly and Bruce gave him a small wave. Before closing the door behind him he could already hear Bruce speaking quietly to Tony, both fond and slightly reproving. 

It was earlier than he’d expected to leave. However, Pepper was on an approved outing with her family, Natasha had a therapy session, and he didn’t really fancy being alone with Loki. So he tucked his drawing pad under his arm and wandered down the path that circled the house, wondering if Dr. Coulson would allow him to take Bruce outside of the center’s grounds. 

A bird call pierced through the clear morning air as he walked through the back. Steve looked to the trees that bordered the grounds instinctively. There was a second whistle and, after a pause, the first bird call rang again. It was too well timed to be anything but a human signal. 

Steve raised a hand in greeting. “Hey!” he called out. Nothing seemed to move in the relative gloom of the woodland. He hurried to the fence and looked up; despite his excellent eyesight, it took him a few minutes to make out the figure crouched amongst the branches.  

“Hey.” he repeated, a grin creeping onto his face in spite of himself. 

Steve saw the flash of an answering grin through the gloom. “Hey.”

“You’re Clint, aren’t you?” Steve asked.

He had to raise his arm to shield his eyes from a sudden shower of leaves. “Pepper told me you were a friend of Natasha’s.” he explained. “I’m Steve Rogers, I volunteer at the center.”

Clint looked down at him for a long moment before hopping down easily. “Nat told me you took on Bruce the other day.”

“I’d hardly call it that.” Steve said, embarrassed. “And Bruce is a great guy, really.”

“Yeah, I know.” Clint admitted. “He just has anger issues.”

“Exactly.” Steve agreed.

“And so does Natasha.” Clint guffawed. “Where is she, anyway?”

“They told me she had a session with her doctor.” Steve replied.

Clint looked through the fence at the house with narrowed eyes and then down at his watch. “Well, I’ll come by tomorrow.” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Maybe you should come through the front door.” Steve said in a rush when Clint seemed ready to disappear into the trees.

Clint came up close to the fence and frowned at Steve. “I’d rather not.” he said simply.

“I don’t see why not if you’ve got nothing to hide.“ Steve countered. 

Clint shrugged a shoulder. “You don’t understand.”

“No, I don’t.” Steve agreed. He crossed his arms and looked at Clint expectantly. 

“I already asked her to come here. I can’t ask anything else of her.” he explained with a scowl. 

“You asked her to come here?” Steve asked, confused. 

“She wasn’t well.” Clint said shortly. He hoisted his backpack higher onto his shoulder and gave Steve a cool look. “So, are you going to keep your mouth shut or am I going to have to take you down?”

Steve raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I’ll keep quiet.”  
“Good.” Clint nodded brusquely. 

“You seem like a good guy.” Steve added. Clint only laughed in response and was quickly out of sight.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

“So you met Clint.” Natasha commented. Steve didn’t look up immediately, engrossed in his game of checkers with Bruce. He made his move and raised his eyes in time to catch Tony lunging at Natasha in an attempt to wrestle the remote from her. They rolled onto the floor from the couch and Natasha had him pinned and immobilized with her legs around his neck in one swift move. 

“This is what I’m talking about.” Tony managed, still struggling beneath her. “I didn’t know you preferred an audience, though.”

Natasha cast him a cool look. “I never mind having an audience when I slap you around, Stark.”

Bruce clapped and Tony shot him a dirty look while he dusted himself off fastidiously. 

“Steve?” Natasha had settled comfortably on the couch once more, flipping channels idly and ignoring Tony’s increasingly loud objections. 

“I met Clint.” Steve confirmed. “And… you have my blessing.”

Natasha pretended to kick the chair out from under him. “Thank you.” she said with a rare laugh. 

“You’d probably have Dr. Coulson’s approval too.” he added casually. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “You think he doesn’t know?”

“He knows Clint.” Natasha admitted irritably. “I just don’t want him to visit.” 

“She doesn’t want to feel quite like such a recluse.” Bruce elaborated. He offered a half-apologetic shrug when Natasha glared at him. “We all feel the same way.”

Steve stared at the game board self-consciously while the television played some documentary in the background. Then Bruce moved his piece and Tony went back to tinkering with his latest contraption and the tension eased. A while later, after losing two games and scraping a win on the third, Bruce stretched and glanced at his watch. “The channel A news is about to start.” he told Natasha. 

“I’m watching that-“ Tony groaned, pointing at the screen, but Natasha had already changed to Channel A. Steve looked around questioningly. 

“Loki likes to watch the news at this hour.” Natasha explained to Steve. 

Ten minutes into the news Tony hijacked the television and changed the channel. Natasha threw the remote at his head. 

“He’s not even here!” Tony argued, rubbing the red spot on his forehead. “He’s probably upstairs rigging explosives and setting up dangerous traps.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, but Bruce looked uneasy. “He usually comes down at this hour…”

“Should I go check with the nurses?” Steve suggested after a moment. 

“Yes, please.” Bruce replied, exchanging an unreadable look with Tony. 

Steve was rising from his seat when Peggy came through the door, clipboard in hand and mouth pinched with worry. He reached for the remote to put the television on mute as Peggy came to stand before them and look at each of them in turn. “Can any of you tell me where Loki is?” she asked in a tightly controlled voice.

“Let me guess... Not where he’s supposed to be.” Tony replied. 

Peggy shot him a sharp look. “He seems to have left the premises. Can you think of where he might have gone?”

“He jumped off a bridge the last time, didn’t he?” Natasha commented emotionlessly. 

Tony swore under his breath and Bruce took a shuddering breath. Steve stared unseeingly at the muted television as the meaning of Natasha’s statement sunk in. 

“Thank you for your input.” Peggy said curtly. Natasha shrugged.

Steve jumped up and followed Peggy to the hallway. “Is there anything I can do?”

She sighed. “We’ve notified the authorities and we’ve got people looking for him.”

“I can help.” Steve stated. 

Peggy considered him thoughtfully. “I’ll give you a beeper.” She held out a hand to silence Steve’s response. “If you find him, you page me.” she warned. “You’re not trained to deal with someone in Loki’s situation. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Steve agreed.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

Steve hoisted himself onto a low brick wall and surveyed the street. The lamp lights flickered on, casting long shadows that soon faded as evening fell. He wiped the cooling sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand and exhaled tiredly; he’d been searching the streets for almost an hour with no results. 

A familiar voice piped up suddenly. “You have to build up that stamina, Steve.”

Tony was leaning on the wall a few feet away, wrapped in an oversized jacket. 

Steve stared at him in disbelief. “What’re _you_ doing here?”  

“Well, Nat’s already been AWOL twice and Bruce doesn’t really get along with Loki, so...” Tony replied with a shrug. 

“So, that left you.” Steve concluded, voice dry. 

“Pretty much.” Tony agreed. He held out a placating hand when Steve huffed. “I also kind of get how Loki thinks... most of the time...sometimes.”

Steve rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. “Great.” he sighed. “Where do you think he might have gone then?”

Tony shook his head. “You’re thinking about this all wrong. You’ve probably noticed Loki has a taste for the dramatic, he’s not going to be huddling in a back alley.”

“Do you think someone might be helping him?” Steve asked.

“Nah.” Tony shook his head. “He’s clever enough to hide himself and he prefers to work alone.”

“You make him sound like some criminal mastermind.” Steve’s lips twisted into a reluctant smile.

“He is.” Tony muttered. “He once replaced all my flathead screwdrivers with Phillips’.”

Steve responded with a blank look while Tony went on obliviously. “And another time, he tampered with my level. I actually had to get a new one, if you’ll believe it.”

“Right.” Steve interrupted loudly. “Tony, focus, will you? Where’s Loki?”

Tony frowned at Steve. “A word of advice: you might want to look into that.”

Steve took a deep breath. “Look into what?”

“That stick lodged-” Steve clapped his hand over Tony’s mouth. Hard. 

Tony ran his fingers gently down his face, pouting. “I didn’t think you capable of such violence... but I like it.”

“Loki.” Steve reminded him sharply.

“OK. He’s probably somewhere... big.” he said finally.

“Somewhere big.” Steve repeated stonily.

“You have no sense of humor. Whatsoever. It’s very off putting.” Tony rolled his eyes. “He’s somewhere that means something to him, obviously.”

Steve frowned. “You know him better than I do.”

Tony ran his hand through his hair, his expression thoughtful and unusually serious. Steve checked the pager twice and re-tied his shoelaces in silence while Tony paced, murmuring unintelligibly.

“Got it.” Tony exclaimed, clapping Steve on the shoulder roughly before taking off down the street.

“Where are we going?” Steve demanded, running after Tony.

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Steve trailed unresisting after Tony as he marched into the fire station because, though Steve had never been inside before, Tony did seem familiar with the place and its regulars. 

The firemen they encountered waved him off amiably, if a little impatiently, when he explained they were looking for a friend. Then again, Tony’s spiel didn’t inspire a sense of urgency, with his light tone and rambling description. 

“He’s tall and kind of skinny… a rather fetching shade of sour milk, with gorgeous, crazy, blue eyes… or are they green? I can’t decide. What would you say, Steve?” Tony rattled off to everyone they met. “So, you haven’t seen him? Pity. We’ll just keep looking, thanks anyway.” 

Twenty minutes later, they still hadn’t found Loki. 

Steve frowned at the gigantic red trucks surrounding them, glinting sharply in the artificial light and casting angular, impenetrable shadows. He turned to Tony, fists on his hips. “I don’t think Loki is here.” he sighed. “His brother’s a fireman in the city, after all, not here.”

Tony, who had wandered off with an odd look on his face, turned around with a peculiar smile on his face. “Where else would he go?” he answered belatedly. 

“I don’t know, but…” Steve faltered when Tony raised his eyebrows at him meaningfully. “We should… “ 

“Where else would he go?” Tony repeated loudly. “Loki does everything he can to show how much he hates Thor, which just shows how much he loves him, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Steve echoed, quickly catching on.

“And, whatever he’s hiding from, if he could ask for anyone’s help, it would be Thor’s.” Tony continued. 

The silence that followed was tense and expectant, thrumming with the distant sound of cars outside mingled with their breathing. 

“Come on out, Loki.” Tony called out finally. “You’re ‘it’.” 

Loki seemed to materialize out of thin air; he didn’t make a sound as he stepped slowly out of the shadows. Absurdly, Steve noticed Loki’s toes peeking from underneath his hospital pants.

“OK, Loki, you’ve had your fun.” Tony said, holding out a hand and waggling his fingers invitingly. ”Now, let’s get back…You chose a shitty night to go adventuring, buddy- it’s pizza night!”  he added.

“I can’t go back.” Loki whispered.

Steve stiffened instinctively at his words, but Tony was oblivious. “Why not? Your legs are working fine, aren’t they? If not I’m sure they’ll give us a ride… I can’t believe I’ve never ridden on a fire truck before!”

“What have you done?” Steve asked Loki, speaking over Tony’s excited chatter.

“It was the only way.” Loki’s eyes fixed on Steve’s. “ _I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure, just as gold and silver are refined and purified by fire_.” he breathed.

Steve felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. “Alright.”  he said slowly, fumbling with the beeper in his pocket. “We can still fix this. First, I’m going to call Peggy and let her know they’re in danger.”

Loki lunged at him with a wordless cry. He managed to wrench the pager from his fingers when Steve, distracted by the sound of Tony’s retreating footsteps, was too slow to block a sharp knee to the chest that knocked the breath out of him. Steve recovered quickly, twisting Loki’s arm behind his back so that the beeper dropped from his senseless fingers onto the floor.

“That’s enough, Loki.” Steve bit out as Loki struggled against his hold.

“It’s too late.” Loki snarled. Steve stifled a cry as Loki threw back his head with enough force to split Steve’s lip and set his head ringing. Taking advantage of his momentary daze, Loki kicked the pager out of reach as it slid out of sight under one of the trucks.

Steve released Loki with a none too gentle shove and a sound of dismay. “Those people are your _friends._ ”

Something shifted in Loki’s eyes for an instant. He stood motionless and silent, his brow furrowed. “There is weakness in your nature.” he said after a long moment. His eyes were wet when they met Steve’s. “Yet I have been given an arduous task.”

“They can help you. You don’t have to do this.” Steve replied quietly. Loki shook his head and his eyes were hard once more. “There is no escape from them. I must fulfill the task appointed to me.”

Steve felt numb as he heard the siren go off.

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

The plastic bracelet made the palm of his hand sweat and his grip on Loki’s wrist slip. He tightened it automatically as Loki tripped, his fingers clutching at Steve’s arm. Abruptly and suspiciously compliant, Loki  had allowed Steve to drag him down the street without comment; had followed him even after he’d fallen and scraped his palms on the asphalt.

  
“I can’t believe Tony.” Steve wheezed when he tripped on an uneven sidewalk and Loki crashed into his back. 

“He acted according to his nature.” Loki said. 

Steve didn’t reply. He kept his eyes on the skyline for signs of smoke and hurried on.

“What do you hope to accomplish?” Loki asked meanly, gasping for breath.

Steve’s heart hammered in his chest when he caught sight of the fire truck parked in front of the hospital and as they hurried forward he saw that the driveway was also crowded with people: a couple of workers from the center in their uniforms, firemen and what could only be curious passers-by. He caught a flash of red hair. Natasha and Pepper were standing to a side under Peggy’s supervision. Natasha saw him first; she nudged Peggy.

“What’s happening?” Steve asked. 

“There’s been a bomb warning. They’re conducting a search.” Peggy replied. She looked Loki over carefully and frowned when she noticed the drying blood on his hand. “You didn’t page me.” she chided. 

“I’m sorry.” Steve said. “I’m afraid I lost it.”

Peggy waved his apology away and interrupted Natasha’s and Loki’s silent exchange when she put a hand on his forearm. Loki recoiled from her with a snarl. Peggy held out her hands calmly. “I just want to check your hands, Loki.”

“Leave him be.” Natasha said brusquely. Peggy turned to her in surprise.

A fireman broke in. “Ma’am, if you please.” He led Peggy a short distance away, close enough that Steve could catch snatches of their conversation.

“We found this in one of the kid’s rooms.” He was holding up some form of crude contraption the size and shape of a lunchbox. “It’s a household bomb- I hadn’t seen one of these in ages.”  

Steve heard Peggy’s voice rise in a question.

“There never was any danger. Not from this one, at least. The design is pretty ingenious but it would never explode.” he replied.

Natasha turned to look at Loki with narrowed eyes. “One good turn deserves another.” she said, “Tell us what else you’re hiding so we can get this circus over with already.”

“I owe you nothing.” Loki sneered. “I’m not like you: fearful of every touch for the reminder of your shame.”

“How dare you.” Pepper gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth. Natasha’s eyes filled with tears.

“Let’s all calm down.” Steve cut in quietly.

“You should thank me.” Loki went on viciously. He twisted away from Steve’s hand on his shoulder. “The fire will cleanse you. It will release you.”

“You’re just as damaged as the rest of us.” Natasha said brokenly. “Will you burn with us?”

“I am nothing like you.” Loki hissed. “You are all of you beneath me.”

“You’re insane.” Natasha whispered.

Loki’s grin was sharp and dangerous. “I am _elevated._ You can never hope to reach the heights where I dwell.” he replied.

For a moment Natasha seemed paralyzed; arms wrapped protectively around her midsection and tears clinging to her eyelashes. Steve looked on helplessly and started when her lips curled suddenly in triumph. “ _Oh._ I know where you’ve been hiding.” she said exultingly.

Loki’s smile flickered and died. Steve had to move fast to grab Loki when he lunged at Natasha. “You can’t escape the filth inside you, you brazen cunt.” Loki spat.

Natasha wiped the spittle from her cheek in a slow, deliberate movement. Steve shoved Loki behind him and stepped between them. “Natasha, if you think there’s still danger you need to-“

Steve broke off at the sound of a disturbance by the front door: Bruce was shouting indistinctly and attempting to force his way through a group of firemen.

Pepper ran off before Steve could stop her. Steve turned to Natasha. “You need to tell Dr. Coulson or one of the firemen that there might be more explosives.”

Natasha’s eyes were fixed on Bruce who had barrelled his way through and disappeared inside the building. She shook her head. “I’m going to get Clint.”

“What? No. Natasha-” Steve let his hand fall at her dark look. “It’s dangerous. We need to tell-”

“You can tell Coulson.” Natasha interrupted him. “He’s hidden them in the air ducts.” she told him before dashing off. Steve swallowed an expletive. He couldn’t follow her and leave Loki alone.

“You’ve lost everyone.” Loki murmured cruelly.

Steve turned to face him. “Except you.” he said with a grudging half-smile.

“I’m only here to watch the show.” Loki huffed, “Waiting it out wasn’t quite as fun as this.”

Loki’s expression soured when Coulson appeared with Peggy at his side. “You have stirred up a bit of trouble.” he said mildly.

“It’s not over yet.” Loki sneered.

Coulson nodded. “There’s new information and a second search is being conducted.”

“Just in case.” Peggy added, “What they found wasn’t functional.”

“You lack conviction, Loki.” Coulson said softly, “We’ve discussed this before, remember?”

“I lack materials.” Loki deadpanned.

Coulson smiled slightly. “Yet you managed to get what you needed somehow.”

“It wasn’t hard.” Loki replied. “People are easy to trick.”

“I think it might have been Erik.” Peggy blurted. She bit her lip. “He asked me once, if it was- I told him not to give him anything.”

“And Natasha’s mutt too.” Loki replied. “How ironic.”

“That was quite clever, Loki.” Coulson told him calmly. “Getting them to get you what you needed, bit by bit.”

Loki’s grin was razor sharp.

“You took advantage of their compassion.” Peggy said sharply. “It was against the rules but they acted out of kindness.”

“They acted out of stupidity.” Loki scoffed.

“It’s done. And no harm done.” Coulson interjected.

They all ducked at the sudden explosion, though Steve had to grab Loki to pull him down. There was a flare of light in what Steve quickly worked out had been Coulson’s office. The ground shook beneath them and bits of glass rained down on them. 

“Is everyone alright?” Steve asked afterward. He met Peggy’s eyes and she nodded. Steve found her hand and gave it a light squeeze before helping her up.

“I take it back.” Coulson said wryly. His eyes were on the shattered and smouldering windows of his office. An ambulance siren wailed in the distance.

Peggy turned to Steve. “Where are the others?” 

Steve shook his head helplessly. “I was- I didn’t- want to leave Loki.” he stammered. 

Coulson put a hand on Steve’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sure they’re safe.” he said. “They can take care of themselves.”

“Natasha just... ran off.” Steve ran his fingers through his hair anxiously.   
“She’s with Clint Barton.” Coulson replied. “I trust him to look after her.” 

“That bitch doesn’t need looking after.” Loki muttered. 

“Oh, there they are.” Peggy exclaimed in relief. Steve watched as Pepper ran up to Bruce and Tony and slapped them both with a furious, inarticulate scream. 

“As for Bruce and Tony... Pepper will put them in their place.” Coulson continued with the hint of a smile.

“It wasn’t us!” Tony yelled.

Steve laughed when Pepper threw her arms around Tony.

“We’re not hurt.” Bruce called to them before Pepper disentangled herself from Tony to embrace him. 

Pepper marched Bruce and Tony up to them. “Natasha’s going to hurt you.” she said. “Aren’t you, Nat?”

“Not a problem.” Natasha agreed. Steve hadn’t heard her approaching; she stood next to Steve and gifted him with a slight smile when he bumped her shoulder in relief. 

“How did you deactivate it?” Clint asked, pointing at the device Bruce held in his hands. 

“With a healthy dose of our undeniable genius.” Tony answered. He had a chemical burn on the back of his hand.

“We set off the one in your office, doc.” Clint admitted. 

Bruce studied the explosive in his hands. “They were set to go off with a clockwork mechanism. If you hadn’t found it...”

“It was hidden behind the air vent. I told Clint to aim for it at long range.” Natasha supplied. 

Coulson’s expression was faintly amused. “So you’ve left the firemen with nothing to do but clean up the mess.” he said.

“They found the first one.” Peggy reminded him. The corners of her lips twisted upwards.

“Is it over then?” Pepper asked.

“I still have to clear some matters up with the authorities.” Coulson replied. 

Tony groaned. “I’m starving.”

“It shouldn’t be long.” Coulson took the incendiary device from Bruce.“Stay out of trouble.”

Tony watched Coulson leave with an indignant scowl. “Why’d he look at me?” He looked from Pepper to Bruce. “You saw it. Shameless discrimination. I demand satisfaction.”

“Shut up, Stark.” Natasha rolled her eyes. 

“I’m just trying to be fair.” Tony went on. “I can claim maybe... what, ten percent of the credit? The rest was all my favourite live-in loony.”

Tony scowled when several voices called out in reproach, but he muttered an apology.

Loki stared at Tony impassively. His eyes were wet, glittering in the flashing light of the ambulance. 

Bruce nudged Tony. “You need to get that burn checked out.” 

Tony nodded vaguely and started following Bruce to the ambulance. He hadn’t taken more than a few steps when he paused, sighed dramatically, and turned back. 

“I meant it, you know?” he told Loki. “You _are_ my favourite.”

Loki’s answer was to backhand him across the face. Clint hooted and grinned when Tony threw him a dirty look. 

“You were asking for that.” Natasha said, barely stifling laughter.

“That was nice, Tony.” Peggy said kindly, even as she gave Tony a small push. “But probably not the best moment.”

Pepper dragged Tony away, still cursing and rubbing his face. Bruce shrugged sheepishly and followed them.

“Let’s go, Clint.” Natasha smacked Clint’s arm and started walking down the driveway. 

“She’s walking me to the gate.” Clint said to Peggy before she she could ask.

Peggy shook her head. “Very well.” she sighed. “Just- tell her to come straight back.” 

Clint nodded and hurried after Natasha. Steve smiled at the distracted way Peggy tucked stray hair behind her ear as she watched the pair walk off down the path. “It’s been a long night.” she said, smiling wanly, when he caught her eye.

“It has.” Steve agreed. 

Peggy gave Steve a long look. “Thank you for your help.” she said finally. 

“There’s no need- It was...You’re welcome.” Steve stuttered, ducking his head.

He noticed idly that Loki’s hands were curled into fists, then he saw the blood seeping through the fingers of his right hand. “Peggy.” Steve whispered. 

“What-” Peggy’s voice broke off as Loki shoved her violently. He elbowed Steve in the gut and kicked his legs under him.

“No!” Steve shouted, scrambling to his feet when Loki slashed his left arm from his palm to almost the crook of his elbow. Steve bowled him over, wrestling the shard of glass from his hand. His hands were slippery with blood as he ripped off his jacket and pressed it against the cut. Loki struggled to pull away but Steve held tight.

“God.” Steve swallowed thickly. 

Loki’s breath came in short, wet gasps and Steve couldn’t take his eyes off the smudge of red he’d left on his cheek when he tried to brush away his tears. 

“Let go, son.” Hands pried his fingers away firmly, though the voice was gentle. “We’ve got him.”

The compress the paramedic held to the wound quickly turned red. Steve didn’t move as they took Loki away. 

Peggy knelt down in front of him. “Are you alright, Steve?” she asked softly.

Steve met her eyes after a moment and shook his head slightly. “No.” he said quietly.

Peggy brought out a handkerchief and wiped blood from his face in tender gesture. “Come. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

“C’mmon, Bruce!” Steve called out encouragingly. He rolled back his shoulders and then bent down to pull up his socks while he waited for Bruce to catch up. He heard the breath of laughter a moment before an acorn hit him squarely in the backside. 

“What the-?” Steve gasped. He straightened up and turned in place, looking around carefully, but the only movement was a stray cat lurking by the fence and a few birds. Then all he could hear was Bruce’s laboured breathing as he reached Steve. “I can’t-” he panted, bent at the waist and hands on his knees.

“Maybe we can take a break. You-” He was cut off by another acorn bouncing neatly off the center of his chest. Another followed, so quickly that his only response was an inarticulate cry as it hit his forehead.

“We’re under attack.” Bruce wheezed. Steve frowned in confusion when he caught Bruce’s fleeting grin.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his lips curling in spite of himself even as he rubbed the sore spot on his forehead.

Bruce laughed quietly and pointed at the line of trees by the fence. Clint offered him a mocking salute from his perch on a branch.

Steve shook his head and waved back. “Join us at the gate.” he called. 

Clint swung easily onto a branch that hung over the hospital grounds and stepped along it nimbly before jumping down. He brushed bits of dry leaves and sand from his clothes as he walked up to them with a grin. 

“You guys put on a bit of a show.” he snickered. 

Bruce rolled his eyes, still clutching a stitch in his side. “I don’t run much.” he admitted.

“No kidding.” Clint laughed. Steve made a face.

“So did you.” Steve said as they shook hands. “Were you raised by the circus?” he quipped. 

Clint’s smile was a little strained. “Natural talent.” he replied. 

When they reached the front door, there was a red truck parked before the entrance of the building. 

“Thor’s here.” Bruce explained when Steve looked at him questioningly. 

“I thought he lived out of town.” Steve said with a small frown. 

Bruce nodded. “He does. But after what happened with Loki… We actually expected him to be here a lot sooner.”

“Didn’t Stark stick his nose into it?” Clint asked. 

“He did.” Bruce answered, “It seems he was attending a seminar somewhere and they couldn’t reach him.”

“It doesn’t really make much of a difference, though, does it?” Clint muttered as they stepped inside.

Bruce sighed. “I honestly don’t know.”

In the uncomfortable silence that followed, the sound of Pepper’s voice drifted down from upstairs, the words unintelligible and disrupted by her knocking on the door. 

“I take it he’s not taking it well?” Clint said in an undertone.

Bruce shook his head. “He was threatening to lock himself in his room when I left with Steve.”

“Maybe Pepper being released will give him the push he needs.” Steve said quietly. 

Bruce didn’t answer. He led the way with a serious, unreadable expression on his face. 

“Give me a minute.” Clint muttered as they passed the nurses’ station. His attention fixed on the nurse behind the counter, he didn’t notice the knowing glance exchanged by Bruce and Steve.

“Natasha’s meeting with Coulson.” Bruce told him. Clint shrugged in response and they went on without him. 

“Are you sure they’re not…” Steve asked vaguely, walking down the hall with Bruce.

Bruce’s lips curled into a slight smile. “You should ask Natasha.”

“I’m sure they’ll tell us when they’re ready.” Steve said hastily. 

Steve grinned at Bruce’s snort of laughter and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing briefly; Bruce offered him an honest smile before pushing the door open. 

The room was empty except for the two people sitting on the couch. Loki, slumped on the couch with his eyes half-closed, didn’t react to their entrance. The other man raised a hand in welcome. 

“That’s Thor.” Bruce said unnecessarily. 

Burly and fair haired, Thor had little family resemblance to Loki. “Greetings. You must be Steve.” Thor said when they approached. 

“Steve Rogers.” Steve said. He quickly pulled back the hand he’d extended when he noticed that Thor was cradling one of Loki’s limp hands in both of his. “How do you do?”

“I am Thor, Loki’s brother.” Thor greeted him gravely. “I am pleased to meet you, Steve Rogers.”

“And Jane is well?” Bruce asked, taking a seat in the armchair. Steve decided against sitting next to Loki for fear of disturbing him.

“Yes, thank you.” Thor smiled slightly. “She asked me to send you all her warmest regards.”

“I have a few things for you to take with you, if you don’t mind. Nothing like the last time, don’t worry.”  Bruce told Thor, then turned to Steve. “Jane and I share an interest in science. We frequently exchange our material.” he clarified.

“I brought the truck this time.” Thor laughed. “But that may not be necessary. It is Jane’s intention to come to town soon and I will not be returning to the city for some time.”

“I see.” Bruce said.

Thor said nothing; his eyes were on Loki. “I would like a word with you, Steve.” he said abruptly.

“Of course.” Steve got up from his perch on the side of the couch.

Thor patted Loki’s hand gently before setting it carefully on his lap and stood up slowly. Loki’s fingers twitched, he tugged at the bandage on his wrist briefly and then lifted his head suddenly. His eyes were wide and startled.

“I’ll be right back, brother.” Thor murmured soothingly.

Loki didn’t respond. He turned his face away from Thor and curled up against the side of the couch. Thor looked at his brother for a long moment before leading Steve to the window.

“I wanted to thank you, Steve.” Thor said without preamble.

Steve shook his head. “There’s nothing to thank me for.”

“You saved my brother’s life.” Thor insisted.

“I did what-” Steve began, but Thor interrupted him. “No. Not all would. Not for such a person as my brother has become. My brother has harmed himself... and others before.”

Steve waited until Thor met his eyes. “Loki is ill. He needs help. He deserves help.” Steve said firmly.

Thor nodded. Steve heard him swallow thickly. “Some think me foolish for hoping that he will get better... but there are moments when he is almost like his old self and I cannot help but hope...” he trailed off.

“What do the doctors say?” Steve asked gently.

“There is no cure for schizophrenia.” Thor replied dully.

“But there is treatment. They might not have found the right combination of drugs yet.” Steve said.

Thor sighed. “If only for the memory of what he used to be, I can never give up on him. He is my brother.”

“Leave no man behind.” Steve said softly and looked out the window while Thor dragged his knuckles roughly across his eyes. He put a heavy hand on Steve’s shoulder for a moment before going back to Loki and Bruce. 

“Our father was in the army.” Thor commented as he sat down. Loki appeared to have sunk into a stupor and barely reacted when Thor arranged his limbs to clear some space on the couch. 

“So was mine.” Steve told him. “I mean to join when I finish school.”

“For your father?” Thor asked casually. 

Steve shook his head, abandoning his search for the television remote momentarily. “No. I just feel like… Like it’s where I can be… most useful to my country… to everyone.” he answered falteringly. 

Thor gave him an appraising look before nodding approvingly. “I understand.”

Steve ducked his head when he caught Bruce staring at him over the top of the book he was reading. Then the door banged open to admit Tony followed by Clint and Natasha. 

“Hey, big guy.” Tony called out. “Long time no see. How was the seminar?” Tony pushed and poked at Bruce until they could both squeeze into the armchair. Bruce hit him with his book. 

“Well, thank you.” Thor replied drily. “How is Pepper?”

“Just dandy.” Tony said with forced cheer. “She’s leaving day after tomorrow, actually.”

“Looking for this?” Clint interrupted Thor’s reply, waving the remote in the air. 

“Thanks.” Steve said. Ignoring Steve’s outstretched hand, Clint shrugged off his jacket and flopped down on the couch. Loki flinched and Thor frowned at Clint who shrugged, mildly apologetic and handed Loki the remote instead. 

Natasha huffed as she sat on the armrest of the couch. “Now you get up and change the channel.” Tony hissed at Clint. 

“There’s no need.” Thor rumbled and reached to take the remote from Loki. Natasha’s eyebrows raised when Loki’s fingers curled around it unexpectedly in a slack grip. 

“Brother-” Thor began. The sudden change in channels brought a burst of sound that made them all jump. Loki snickered and, after a moment, Thor joined in, his hearty laughter tinged with a hint of desperation. Steve smiled wanly when Thor caught his eye. 

In the end none of them really watched the movie. 

Bruce was forced to entertain Tony who got bored halfway through and kept forgetting to keep quiet so as not to disturb Loki, who had fallen asleep within minutes.

“It’s the sleep of the thoroughly drugged.” Tony argued when Thor shushed him angrily. “He’s pumped full of antipsychotics. Believe me, he’d probably sleep through an alien invasion.”

Thor was more preoccupied guarding his brother’s sleep than paying attention, but pestered Steve with questions about what he missed while telling off Tony. And Clint and Natasha missed a quarter of the film when they left to get a snack.

Evening was coming on by the time Thor got up to leave. He shook Steve’s hand warmly. 

“I expect we shall see more of each other soon, when you come to visit your friends.”

Steve caught Natasha’s curious look before Clint demanded her attention return to their game of cards. He exchanged a grin with Thor at Natasha’s muttered curse in Russian and let his gaze stray to Tony, who was practically on Bruce’s lap, tinkering with the remote while Bruce struggled to read. 

He turned back to Thor, with his welcoming smile and an arm around his brother.

“Yes.” Steve agreed. “I’ll be around a lot.”


End file.
